Nonviolent Communication and Conflict Management

This week I have been learning about various ways to deal with conflicts.  I am going to share a personal conflict.  My brother and I disagree about a lot of things.  The most recent was about how he could get a car.  My brother is the type of person who thinks he knows all the answers and when you try to help him with solutions to his problems, he always has an excuse why it won't work.  I approached him with a couple of ideas about selling his current vehicle that does not work in order for him to get another vehicle.  I listened to what he had to say then I would reply.  This goes on for a few minutes until I can't take it anymore.  I used to try and ration with him but know I have gotten to the point I just say ok to whatever he says.

When dealing with my brother the two strategies that I can use is to listen to his point of view and not cut him off because I think he is wrong and I can also try the 3 R's.  If I demonstrate the 3 R"s maybe it would rub off on him and we could actually finish a conversation.

Who Am I As A Communicator?

This weeks assignment was very interesting and insightful.  I had fun with the assignment because I like to see what others think.  Believe it or not but all three of us evaluated me the same.  We had slightly different scores, but I fell in the same category for all three tests.  I was most surprised with the results from the Communication Anxiety Inventory.  Myself and my two evaluators all scored in the moderate level.  This surprised me because I am petrified to speak in front of others.  i do better in a small group but the thought of speaking to a large group frightens me.  I have always been very shy and as I have gotten older I am slowly but surly coming out of it.

One insight that I gained this week is that I am a caring and empathetic listener.  I am a person who is always thinking of others and the Listening Styles Profile showed it because it says I am people orientated. This can help me on the professional level because in the early childhood field that is what a child and his/her family needs, someone who cares.  Another insight from this week is how we are all different.  After looking at the results and reading through all the results, I realized that everybody learns, listens and talks differently.  we all process and deal with things differently and it is important to remember these things when dealing with young children and their families.

Communication and Culture

Communication is important because without it we do not know what is going on.  As hard as it is to admit I do communicate with people in different ways.  At my school the population of Spanish speaking families grows every year.  I find myself speaking slower and using fewer words, assuming they do not speak very good English.  In some cases this is not true.  Another example of changing the way I communicate is when dealing with a family who may be lower income or less educated.  I hate to admit this but I do change the way I communicate with them.  I lose my good speech that I would normally use at work.  This is very unprofessional for me to do this and it is something that I noticed and began working on last school year.  I would like to treat everyone with the same amount of respect because everyone deserves it.  Everyone deserves my best effort even when it is through communication.

Three strategies I can use to help communicate better is:
* Look beyond first impressions.  Give each person a chance to talk and treat them equally no matter what their appearance is.
* Choose my words carefully so that I do not offend someone.  When talking with parents, I have to practice giving bad news in a good way.
* I will also take my time and truly listen and hear what people are saying.  I have a very bad habit of tuning out parts of a conversation.

What is communication?

As a communicator I know I have some growing to do.  I have never been one to speak up or speak out.  I have always been afraid to speak in front of people.  My former principal was a great communicator.  I feel Mrs. Kelly is a great communicator because she is a very confident but not overly confident speaker.  She was always well spoken.  She got her point across without being overbearing and loud.  She gained everyones respect by being a great communicator.  Mrs. Kelly made me feel comfortable and because of her I feel like I will one day be a great communicator.  I would love to model some of my communication methods after her because she is very knowledgable and a speaker you would not mind listening to.

Professional Hopes and Goals

In our society today we have no choice but to work with a diverse group of people.  Our country has so many different cultures that a person would have to lead a very sheltered life not to be involved with others of different cultures.  One hope I have when thinking about working with children and families who come from different backgrounds is to remain open minded and understanding of the different backgrounds.  I hope I can give the children and their families that I work with the best possible support for what ever they need.

One goal I would like to set for the early childhood field related to issues of diversity, equity, and social justice is for the field as a whole to keep an open mind about differences.  The early childhood field needs to work towards making the children and families from other cultures feel more comfortable by keeping their needs in mind.  Their needs are slightly different than a family from America because a family from America can understand what is going on.  At my school we are getting more and more Spanish speaking families and Asian families.  My two kindergarten colleagues both have students and families who do not speak English.  The early childhood field needs to find a way to service these families.

I would like to thank everyone for their posts and comments.  I have thoroughly enjoyed this class.  I have learned so much.  I wish we had a couple more weeks to continue learning about diversity.  I enjoyed everyone and hope to see you in the next class.  Thanks!!

Welcoming Families From Around the World

My family's country of origin is the country of Nicaragua.  I am familiar with the name but nothing else.  In doing this assignment I learned that Nicaragua is populated mostly by Mestizos, Amerindian and white mixed.  White is the second largest of the the population while blacks make up only a small portion.  There is also a small population of Amerindians who are unmixed descendants of the countries indigenous inhabitants.  While Spanish is the principal language, English is taught in high school.  The black population speaks English Creole as their primary language and Spanish as their second language.  The most popular sport is baseball.  Most Nicaraguans are Roman Catholic.

Five ways I would prepare myself to be culturally responsive to this family are:
1. research the culture, food, and language of choice,
2. find out how the education system works and what level the child will be on,
3. learn a few important words in the families language so I can have some sort of communication line open,
4. plan a multicultural day so everyone in the class can learn about each others culture and make the family feel welcomed by showing interest and,
5. have pictures, music, food etc. to make the family feel more welcomed and comfortable.

I hope these preparations will give myself and the family some sort of connection.  I want the family to feel at home rather than outsiders in a foreign country.  These preparations will give me the chance to become more acquainted with how the family lived  and possibly what they expect from me.  The preparations will benefit the family and I because I will have a little understanding of how they lived, ate, and so on.

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

As an African-American female I have experienced and witnessed many instances of bias, prejudice, and oppression.  Living in Louisiana doesn't help.  Many people down here are still stuck in old ways.  I can recall an experience of bias and prejudice earlier in the summer.  My boyfriend and I went into a small family owned grocery store that sells cooked food for lunch.  There were two white ladies in front of us and a white lady serving.  She was very pleasant with them but when she got to us she acted as if she didn't want to serve us.  An African-American lady came to help her and instead of sending her to the next customer, a white man, she went to him and sent the African-American lady to help us.  We noticed immediately what she did and discussed it when we left the truck.

The white lady made it very obvious that she did not want to help us.  She had one attitude when helping the customers of one race but a very nonchalant attitude when it came to helping us.  Equity was diminished when she changed her attitude and did not serve us.  We were not given equal service.

This incident brought up some very hurtful feelings.  I hate that people still look at skin color and make a judgement.  The color of my skin does not tell you who I am.  Watching someone serve someone in a nice and pleasant manner then get to you and is completely different is very hurtful but is also a reminder that everyone is not over skin color.

Greater equity could have been achieved simply if the lady would have served us in the same manner as she did the previous customer.  If the lady serving would have kept her nice and pleasant attitude this story would not have made my blog site.